Disclaimer: Not everyone who goes through menopause identifies as a woman and not all people who identify as women go through menopause. At Jayla, our core audience is people who identify as women, so we primarily use the word “women.” However, we’re working on specific content for people going through menopause who might not identify women. Inclusivity is a key value of ours, so bear with us!
If you’ve ever typed “menopause is destroying my life” into a search bar, whispered it to yourself in a moment of exhaustion, or simply wondered if this transition might break you, you’re not alone.
We’ve heard this from many women. Sometimes whispered, sometimes spoken out loud, but always with weight. And we’re here to tell you: there is a way through. It doesn’t have to feel like destruction. It can be a turning point. A shift. A rebuilding.
We See You
Let’s start with this: we understand.
The sleepless nights. The hot flashes that seem to arrive without warning. The sudden waves of anxiety or anger that feel unfamiliar and hard to explain. The brain fog. The bone-deep fatigue. The loss of clarity, confidence, or even a sense of yourself.
When we say “menopause,” we’re using it as a broad term to describe the whole transition, including perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause, because the experience is a continuum, not a single moment in time.
For many women, menopause can feel like a slow unraveling. But you are not broken. And this is not the end of you. (Yes, we’re repeating ourselves. On purpose.)
Change Isn’t the Same as Destruction
Perimenopause, followed by menopause, are major shifts. They can challenge your sense of identity, your place in relationships, your role at work, and even your connection to your own body.
But change does not have to mean loss. And it certainly doesn’t have to mean destruction.
This can also be a time of remembering who you are. Of letting go of expectations and pressure that no longer serve you. Of setting boundaries. Of asking for help and receiving it.
(We know it might not feel that way right now, but hear us out.)
What We've Learned from Thousands of Women
We’ve spoken to thousands of women going through menopause. Every experience is different, but one message is clear: this phase of life can also be a time of power and renewal.
Here are a few truths we’ve heard again and again, that many have learned the hard way, but you don’t have to:
- Asking for support is no sign of weakness. It’s strength.
- Lifestyle changes, hormone therapy, and finding the right care can offer real, tangible relief.
- You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed. And you’re allowed to find hope again.
Many women describe this time as the first moment they truly begin listening to themselves. Pausing long enough to ask: What do I need now? What matters most to me?
Real, Concrete Positives
It might feel far away right now, but many women come through this time feeling more connected to themselves than ever before.
Some of the things we hear:
- A stronger sense of self:
“For the first time, I feel like I’m becoming me, not somebody’s daughter, partner, or mama. Just me. And honestly? I like her.”
- Greater clarity around what really matters:
“Perimenopause cleared the fog. Now I know what I came here to do.”
- The courage to say no, and mean it:
“I used to let so much slide just to keep the peace. Now, if it doesn’t align with my spirit, it’s a no.”
- A renewed sense of purpose:
“I used to think I was winding down, but really I’m just getting started.”
- Deeper, more honest relationships:
“My friendships now are deep, real, rooted in truth. I don’t have the energy for fake anymore.”
Many women, officially or unofficially, join what we call the “Do Not Care Club.” It’s a bold community of those who no longer apologize for putting their peace first and saying no unapologetically.
In many ways, menopause can be a shedding. What’s left behind is often something more grounded, more authentic, and more aligned with who you are now.
Our Response
It might feel like everything is shifting beneath you — your energy, your moods, your memory, your body. But you’re not powerless in the face of it.
There are real, evidence-based tools that can make a difference. For some, that looks like hormone therapy guided by a specialist. For others, it’s working with a menopause-informed therapist. It could be adjusting your nutrition, improving your sleep hygiene, or starting strength training to support your bones and mood. It might even start with something as simple as tracking your symptoms, just to reconnect with what your body is telling you. At the core of it all is prioritizing yourself, your health, your needs, and your well-being, maybe for the first time in a long time.
You don’t need to “push through” or “wait it out.” You deserve relief. And you deserve support.
This doesn’t have to be the end of anything. It can be the start of a new phase where your needs are no longer sidelined, and where your wellbeing becomes a priority.
We’ve seen women rebuild their confidence, show up at work with more clarity, rediscover intimacy in their relationships, and reconnect with themselves in ways they hadn’t imagined possible.
You are still here. Still whole. Still becoming.
And we’re here to help you navigate it, with tools, information, and community that really make a difference.
Empowering Resources For Your Journey
Books and Voices to Explore:
- Omisade Burney-Scott, creator of The Black Girl’s Guide to Surviving Menopause
A beautiful blend of storytelling, culture, and community that centers Black women and femmes.
- Dr. Jessica Shepherd, OB-GYN and founder of Generation M.
Bridging clinical expertise and culturally competent care for people going through menopause.
- Menopausing by Davina McCall and Dr. Naomi Potter
A practical, myth-busting guide with real stories, medical insight, and a big dose of honesty.
- Next Level by Dr. Stacy Sims
Focuses on performance, strength, and hormone changes for active women in midlife and beyond.
- The Upgrade by Louann Brizendine, MD
A neuroscientist’s take on how women’s brains change in midlife — and how that can actually be a powerful shift.
Podcasts and Communities:
- The Black Girl’s Guide to Surviving Menopause
Honest conversations at the intersections of aging, identity, and healing.
- Midlife Feast
A podcast tackling the emotional, nutritional, and practical sides of midlife health.
- Hot Flashes & Cool Topics
Smart, funny, and informative discussions about everything from HRT to midlife reinvention.
- The Do Not Care Club
A growing mindset and community (officially or unofficially) of women reclaiming their peace, setting boundaries, and unapologetically prioritizing themselves.
